When Love Came Knocking

When I couldn't forgive those who trespassed against me it was love that knocked on my door.

When I yet again couldn't forgive those who trespassed against me it was once again love that knocked on my door.

When I turned my back on love out of pain and a lack of faith in it's power, it was love that knocked on my door.

When I was full of hate towards the human mistakes made by children in a grown person's body because I couldn't perceive and have understanding for them, it was love that knocked on my door.

When I thought I knew it all and that things could never expand within my soul or get better, I was blind and could not see, it was love that knocked on my door.

When I had no compassion for the world around me whatsoever and my first response was to resort to violence and negative aggression, it was love that knocked on my door.

When I turned to the darkness for answers to free me from my shame and pain only to find more shame and pain within it's cold and colorless tunnels, it was love that knocked on my door.

When I cursed science and spirituality, when I said it was all non-sense and life was nothing but pain, it was love that knocked on my door.

When I was at my lowest point as a young teen and was putting the rope over the beam in the attic planning my exit, it was love that knocked on my door.

When I once spoke the words to a loved one "I cannot let go of the darkness, without it I feel lost and alone.", it was love that knocked on my door.

When I took part in the most shameful act of my life and could not forgive myself, it was love that knocked on my door.

When I fell in love right after coming out of a dark patch and opened myself up without restraint for the first time and trusted another person for the first time and was crushed by their decision to feed their fear, it was love that knocked on my door.

When I was guided to some of the best Lightworkers and teachers that I cherish more than words can ever say, it was love that knocked on my door.

When I chose to see my father after 9 years of resentment, anger and hatred for his foolish decisions when I was a child only to see he was still a child and he was the one who really missed out, it was love that knocked on my door.

When I was able to have compassion for my love when she exited my life abruptly and I struggled with feelings of betrayal and was able to see the little girl crying in a dark room that was her inside, it was love that knocked on my door.

When I was able to look at myself in the mirror for the first time absolved of guilt, shame, self loathing and able to recognize my personal power and where it comes from, it was love that knocked on my door.

When I decided to write this poem realizing that fear has never once lead me to a feeling of satisfaction and that living in misery only brings more misery, it was love that knocked on my door.

When I finally decided to open the door to see who had been knocking the whole time I was preoccupied with my own ego driven attachments to even notice the knocking, I found love standing there and it asked me one simple question I will never forget...





"What the fuck took you so long???"

And that's how love entered my temple. =:)

-Zachary Hill 2011(C)


Written: Big Bear Lake, California 2011