Yesterday I visited Columbine High School in Littleton Colorado as well as the Columbine Memorial for the massacre that took place on April 20th 1999.
I have been intrigued and interested in the Columbine High School massacre more than any other disaster in recent American history. More so than the Oklahoma City bombing, Waco Texas and even more so than 9/11 in NYC. Why? Allow me to explain.
Oklahoma City, Waco and 9/11 have similar motivations and they are all religious and politically based massacres. I expect radicalism and destruction from both religion and politics, while still tragic they don't share the same workings as the Columbine massacre. To me, Columbine stands alone in it's workings as one of the most questionable massacres in American history.
What drove high school seniors Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold to commit such horrific behavior? Many people have asked this question and I have heard a lot of BS surrounding the situation involving the kids. Some said they were picked on and had it hard, which I'm sure was true, that happens to most people in some capacity during their high school years and in life in general. Others suggested they were a lot more popular than the media tried to make them look. Sure Dylan had an attractive prom date 3 days before the massacre and Eric was quite the social butterfly but when I look at this situation it doesn't say anything to me and I find it typical of our media and culture to look in such a shallow pool for answers. Being picked on can lead to behavior such as the behavior displayed during the Columbine massacre but being popular doesn't always mean people are happy and that they aren't carrying some demonic attachments as well.
I would like to state that I am not religious nor am I a "man of God", I simply look at the Universe and it's workings and see a simple divide in energy and how that energy is used. Positive/Negative, Light/Dark, Good/Evil, etc. Is it possible that Eric and Dylan were just your average kids like any other that opened up a dark channel for such terrible behavior? Did their God-complex of being better than everyone lead them down the wrong path? Was their self-loathing that they wrote about in their journals abnormal from what many kids experienced, especially in the 1990's generation? I say yes, no and no. Here's why..
As a fellow indigo child and sensitive person I can relate to Eric and Dylan much in what they had written in their journals and also in their creativity. I am finding more and more that highly intelligent, sensitive and intuitive people are more prone to taking dark paths, especially when they are unaware or uneducated on how powerful energy in and of itself really is. Eric and Dylan were artists that wrote stories in their journal entries and for their high school teachers, they made videos and thought outside the box and sadly they also happened to embrace the darkness that they opened the door for to lead them down the path to killing 13 people as well as themselves and injuring many others.
I can take one look at either of them and see that they are no different than most of us maybe except that they were in fact a lot more intuitive, down to earth and intelligent than the world around them. I have seen many people who(especially in their teenage years and 20's)have evolved far beyond the world around them and don't know what to do and without guidance embrace the darkness that beats on their door day after day. Creative people need healthy outlets and while our world has some healthy outlets it still has much to desire. People who have rage issues, violent mood swings and suicidal thoughts need more acceptance, love and understanding and a world that acts as a playground for them to experience those things, in other words these people need to live in a world that functions as it should and not as it currently does. However, without the proper guidance and support of elders or peers that understand them it is nearly impossible so it is no wonder why so many young people(and people in general)turn to drugs, alcohol, television, sex addiction and violent movies/video games/music. They are doing nothing more than trying to self medicate because the world is too painful or they are watching the movies, playing the games and listening to the music that reflects the world that they see in our modern culture that seems to lack much soul.
I would be a liar to say I haven't thought similar sick thoughts as a young man such as the ones Eric and Dylan felt, however I never had a desire to take it out in a high school setting I always wanted to save it for politics or religious institutions. My rage, hatred, anger and everything dark that I channel quickly swallowed up my ability to rationalize in an intuitive way. While I don't embrace the behavior these two teens embraced nor do I excuse it entirely, I do however challenge us as a culture and species to take a deep look within ourselves to see what dark channels we may have helped open for these two lost souls to commit such a horrible act of senseless violence. This is one of the reasons why I supported Greg Zanis a carpenter from Illinois in making memorial crosses for Eric and Dylan. They were people, they had dreams, parents and a life to live just like the rest of us. They were lead astray and unfortunately took others with them. There is a lot to learn from the Columbine shooting and a lot of that message is to get us to look within ourselves and at our failing system. Also, a lesson in forgiveness.
More than any other in the Columbine shooting I blame our system and culture. Our system is still currently not open to the idea that this entire existence is a spiritual one and that we are in a major war between the light and dark and they certainly weren't open to this possibility in 1999. Denying our true nature, science, this experience of spirit, love, compassion, understanding and embracing our true capabilities is the REAL factor that lead to the Columbine massacre, even if Eric and Dylan opened a dark door that they weren't aware of the power behind it.
I feel I was called to Columbine High School to feel it's energy and have this revelation. As a sensitive spirit who has evolved beyond his surroundings I feel like part of my life's calling involves working with people of all ages but particularly younger people who do not know how to embrace their intuition or stifle their own awareness just because our society does or to help them understand why it's okay to be angry and have rage issues but how to effectively channel them. While I have learned a lot this year I still have much more to learn but I also have much to offer. In conclusion, I believe that it's possible that if Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold had lived in a world where their gifts were embraced, their rage had healthy outlets that were embraced and if they knew deep within themselves that it was okay to be different the events of April 20th 1999 at Columbine High may have never taken place. We will never truly know but what I do know is the impression I felt as to why I was called there and that is what is most important to me and my experience in visiting both the memorial and the high school itself.
-Zachary Hill
Written: Denver, Colorado 2011
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