Since late 2007 life has brought about more soulful and noteworthy change for me than all the years prior. Why is this? I tapped into it. In 2007 I grew fed up and hit the wall with living in authentically and started getting into alternative healing out of that spawned a deep intuitive draw for me to travel to Sedona, Arizona. In 2008 I took a leap of faith into the unknown by traveling across the United States on a 4 month spiritual journey at the age of 21 that later lead to self discovery, my final destination of that journey? Sedona. Upon returning to my home state of Illinois in the autumn of 2008 I quickly sank into a deep depression filled with apathetic and cynical bitterness. I felt hopeless, lost, powerless and most of all I allowed the world to hurt me with all of it's chaos and insanity. Looking back now I feel that the way I lived my life in 2009 provides me with a great lesson learned on how you can manifest with negativity over and over. I concerned myself with what all of the corporations and Uncle Sam was doing at every and any given moment. I studied the world leaders and corporate criminals, whom were often one and the same for me to put my pain in a direction of those "responsible" for my suffering. I learned looking back that it's the PEOPLE that cause their own suffering, when you tap into your intuition(which is automatically positive)your spirit lifts and soul deepens, you transform and shape shift into something larger than yourself. The world elite do have their horrible influence and have brainwashed many to working on their side but it's the job of the Earth angels(which I believe to be anybody who can influence or help others by looking and moving into their own true nature)to help liberate. Ultimately, there will be revolution IF the PEOPLE truly want it and everything that comes with it(sorry, no inflated ego's allowed)!
2010 unveiled another side of myself to me and has helped mold me and grow me into who I am and who I am becoming. In 2010 I learned about both my ability and inability to give of myself, to be the "heart afraid of breaking" reversed. I also learned a lot about the ability and inability of others to give of themselves and let their heart be exposed. I've learned that living in fear is no way to live and that there is very rarely anything genuine to fear and when it is genuine you generally know how to handle it as it comes about. Through many moments of joy and bliss to many moments of chaos, darkness and pain I have come to where I stand today on the second day of 2011.
I have given and I have taken. I have allowed myself to hurt from the actions of others and I have acted in ways that have provided hurtful situations to others. 2008 was a great time of learning who I was and just touching the tip of the iceberg. 2009 was a great time of learning who I am capable of being when I connect into the darkness and let my logical mind overpower my heart. 2010 was a great time of learning to regain my confidence little by little, to be honest with myself first and foremost and therefore being able to be honest with others and a reminder of what happens when you let your heart guide you and you begin following your intuition, also what happens when you ignore it. 2011 will be a great year of positive change that will come from within. A start of a new chapter in this book of my life that I am the author of. The universe provides the paper and ink, I allow it to flow onto paper in words.
I have loved, I have lost.
I have shared, I have learned.
I have suffered, I have triumphed.
I have given, I have taken.
I have been high, I have been low.
I have lived....and this is just the beginning.
I walk into 2011 with my baggage and lessons learned but I do so with a greater awareness of the responsibility I have to myself and in that Higher Selfishness(different from the majority, ego based selfishness)I hope to gain a better understanding on how to allow my intuitive sixth sense and spiritual power to reveal more of my true nature. Giving without expectation, receiving without being expected to give, living my life unleashed, keeping my heart open, and my mind silent and disciplined enough to listen to what my heart says. which to this day has never guided me in a wrong direction, no matter what the pleasure or pain that has come with it's calling, it has always called me in the right direction of my personal evolution and now metamorphosis.
Here's to 2011 being as important as all the years prior, maybe even more so. I am grateful.
Thank You.
Written: Joliet, Illinois 2011
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