Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Dream Resurfacing: 15 Years Later

(NOTE: The photo's of the environment/place are the ACTUAL places that they took place in both of these dreams. I borrowed them via Google Street Views. The vehicle pictures are the closest I could find to what they looked like in the dream. I own none of the rights to these photos, nor do I claim to own them, they are not mine.)






1990's DREAM:

Two nights ago I had a dream that I was at the doctors office being diagnosed with testicular cancer.

Last night I had a dream where I was shot. The interesting thing, this dream where I was shot is very similar to a dream I had when I was young that I never forgot.

The dream when I was young was the first time I felt a physical pain manifest from an occurence of a dream. In that dream I had been standing on a street corner in the town I grew up in while walking a dog(wasn't mine in "real life", I never owned a dog). While I was walking a dog a 1980's box style car slowed down and fired off numerous rounds from a gun which hit both me and my dog(I was shot in the head and I remember how badly my head burned in real life when I woke up), as we both fell to the ground the 80's car took off while both my dog and I laid in a pool of our own blood looking at each other as we bled to death, I then woke up. Upon awakening I noticed my body had physical pain in the spots where I had been shot in the dream. This dream took place probably sometime around the ages of 9-12, I'm not entirely sure but I still lived in my childhood home at that time. I was about 12 years old in this dream and the car was only about 10 years old at that time.









2012 DREAM:

Fast forward some 10-15 years later and I have not the same dream, but a very similar one. The dream I had last night took place exactly 1 block down the side street from the corner on the next street down, which was the street corner I was shot in the dream years ago(you can actually clearly see both street corners from one another). This time I was around my actual age now which is 25(just like the last dream, I was around my actual age). This time I wasn't walking a dog but rather I was talking to a police officer in a late 2000's model Ford Explorer SUV which would suggest this dream is taking place in current times. The police officer wasn't harassing me but rather we almost seemed to know each other and were just catching up on a few things, I have no idea why I was out walking or why this dream took place on the opposite end of the street I spent my childhood growing up on. Before I knew it a 1996 Chevy Impala(white in color) was driving past the police officer and I and then the scene sped up. The cop(European-American) was then out of the SUV shouting something at me while the driver of the Chevy Impala(African-American)gunned down the police officer. It wasn't until I looked at the 24 inch ghetto cruiser rims on the car that I started to freak out and while he had dark sunglasses on I knew he was looking at me to which he fired off a shot which hit me in my right shoulder(I instantly felt the pain manifest in my physical body *in real life*)and spun me around where I proceeded to run down the street in the direction of my childhood home(though I wasn't attempting to get home nor was it on my mind, it just happened to be that direction). The car sped off down the cross street and I ran down a walkway of one of my childhood friends homes only I knew he didn't live there in this dream and I didn't know who lived there. I stopped at the end of the driveway bleeding badly from my arm where I was freaking out and wondering if the police officer was still alive and if I should go check on him but I knew it wasn't safe to go back out on the street. I then pulled my cell phone out of my pocket(the same one I have right now in real life)and proceeded to call 911 to which I had no answer the first few times(no ring tone either). Then, I dialed 911 one final time only to have a recent real life acquaintance I met in North Dakota in November answer the phone and ask me what was up and how I was doing. I remember thinking "how the fuck did 911 go to his phone?" I hung the phone up while trying to catch my breath standing there bleeding and then the dream ended. When I came to and woke up I remember being a bit agitated knowing that while this dream was happening it wasn't real and even remembering when I was shot in the dream I said "damnit, not this again! This is really fucking annoying! Now I'll have the physical pain to deal with when I wake up after this dream".

I've always been fascinated by dreams and while I did read some interpretations on both this one and the testicular cancer dream, I still look intuitively for symbolism. For example, the fact that I didn't know if the police officer was dead or not and that it didn't stick with me when I woke up suggested that while the police officer was important during the beginning of the dream, it wasn't important to know if he lived or not. However, what keeps sticking with me now is the white 1996 Chevy Impala with 24 inch ghetto rims with the African American male in dark sunglasses...why does that stick with me? I don't have any issues with or fear of gangster types, I grew up hanging out with some gang bangers and it was part of my daily life back then(and even partially in some of the places I've lived in over the last year, though not as direct and personal like it was as a child). I knew most of the gang symbols, graffiti tags and most of my Hispanic friends either had older brothers that were Latin Kings or they themselves became Latin Kings when we became teenagers, didn't change our friendships one bit, hell my neighbors who were friendly people that offered to cut our grass were Latin Kings that would have rival gangs shooting through there front window of the house while my mother slept in her bedroom with her head 10 feet away from the neighbors front porch. I empathize with the gang element and I tend to not like cops very much as a whole, in this dream I was indifferent to both. Just strikes me as very interesting. I felt no genuine fear in my waking state while the dream was happening this time either, whereas the one I had that was similar in the 1990's, I was very afraid.


Thoughts and comments welcomed!

-Zachary Hill 2012(C)

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